Music Box @ Fonda – Hollywood, CA
Words/Photos/Videos By Justin
Saturday Night on Hollywood Blvd. The smell of hobos, trash, bad perfume and bacon wrapped hot dogs. Sitting soaked in sweat, twittering about some random star upon the blvd, I just had to take a few moments to contemplate what had just happened. Wow, did that really all go down? Did I really consume that many chemicals? Did I really show up here with five beautiful women on my arm, only to be sexually assaulted by another four women who were equally as beautiful? What about the security guard I roughed up, will his foot be ok? Was that a mullet? Yet despite all those questions that I actually already knew the answer too, I had one question that I simply could not answer. How could I be one of about 10 straight males in a sold out show (1200 capacity) where the main acts lyrics would make hardcore porn stars like Jasmine Byrne and Sasha Grey blush? Perhaps that is the beauty of the secret known as Peaches?
We hit the Music Box @ Fonda just moments before Peaches hit the stage. Walking up, the two security guards who greet you at the entrance winked at me, perhaps because of the women I was with, perhaps because it said S.L.U.T. on my shirt, I don’t really know. Making our way into the usually GA venue, we discovered that the show was sold as General Admission floor and GA balcony. One of the ladies in our group had balcony while the rest of us were on the floor. With floor access wrist bands placed tightly upon our wrists, and security doing an outstanding job checking upon entry I knew I had my worked cut out for me. Leading my flock like a mother duck who safely crosses her young across a busy road, I walked up to the door, avoided eye contact and did what I had to do.
“Ouch, you got me man” said the security staff member.
“Oh my God dude, I am so sorry, are you ok? Oh my god, holy shit I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to step on your foot”
“It’s OK man, I think I will survive” he smiled.
As I had explained how I lost the battle with a few strong cocktails, my friends all walked on past, totally missed Tool drummer Danny Carey standing right in front of them and hit the bar. I soon joined them after letting go of the strong hug I had upon my new favorite concert security personnel. Moments later, Peaches hit the stage.
Having seen Peaches in the past, I knew I was in for a good night. I didn’t even realize that she had a new album out, I just knew a pal offered to get me a ticket and there was no way in hell I was going to turn that offer down (thanks again HP). Backed by an androgynous three piece band, Peaches took to the stage in a Lucha Libre outfit meets bondage outfit. Peaches is a lot like a nuclear explosion, the energy within her is ridiculous. I mean, it only took her to the second song to jump off the stage and crowd surf while spitting lyrics over electro/dance-charged heavy metal beats.
When not performing songs like Mud from one of the historic theaters alcoves, Peaches was taking the time to share her dissatisfaction with 52% of California voters. With 99.9-100% of the crowd agreeing with her, Peaches took the time to personally marry a gay couple. Sure it may not be legal, but it’s just a matter of time before we shut the hate filled bigots in this state right up and fix the wrongs we have done. Off my soap box – back to the show.
The floor was bouncing as a sea of hipsters thrust, shook and danced to underground hit after hit. Gals were bouncing and quaking the venue so hard during “Shake UR Dix” that my poor camera refused to stay in focus. Or was that me shaking my Tits and Dix? I don’t remember maybe that was just me drinking another Red Bull and Vodka. About 45 minutes into the night, I managed to move up a bit closer to the stage and I am very thankful I did. Not only did I end up in a steamy sweat soaked orgy of young female residents of Silver Lake in spaghetti strap dresses grinding upon each other (and eventually me), I got there just in time for Peaches to launch into “Set It Off“. With the hottest mullet I have ever seen and a near-nude body suit the MC starting barking out orders to all the mother fuckers while using gold chains that would make Mr. T proud as a hula hoop for her neck. I’d also like to thank Peaches for requesting the crowd take their shirts off. It took a lot of will power to not focus on the bare breasted Latina a few feet away from me and could have turned into my first youporn concert video. Hell it almost did if you look close.
The only thing that was more plentiful than the amount of encores Peaches performed (four), were here costume changes. Granted I have never seen Brit Brit or Madonna play live, I have to assume it was on the same level. But unlike Brit Brit or Madge, peaches actually sings live, and I can’t figure out how she manages to sing while bouncing around like a ping pong ball on speed. She made one of her band members assume the roll of Iggy Pop for the take on their duet “Kick It“. The biggest response of the night was from what is arguably her biggest hit “Fuck The Pain Away“. While you won’t hear it on MTV or commercial radio, the entire crowd sang along to the opening lines which discuss sex on beaches and sucking on titties. For as loud as the sing along was for the intro, the chorus made girls scream as if they were, well you know …
With the entire floor dancing and moving all night, you couldn’t not move your body to the music. The place was so hot in fact, it started to smell like a Bacon Wrapped Hot Dog (something LA nightlife is known for, despite objections from City officials who hate the idea of immigrants cooking pork upon our city streets). I couldn’t tell if this was the crowd or coming in from the street. Sadly it was the later, but with a deep groove and rumbling bass of a song like “Lover Tits” one could never be too sure.
As Peaches launched into “2 Guys 4 Every Girl” during the fourth and final encore, I went back and checked in with my friends. Standing there, watching as members of the rapidly thinning crowd exited, I stood on and watched with a big smile on my face. If Peaches looked more like Taylor Swift than lets say Peaches, with a mouth like hers she would be the biggest musical artist on the planet. But at what cost? Would a Peaches show be a Peaches show if it was a sausage fest? I think part of the reason it works (at least the few times I have seen her) is that a majority of the audience is either gay, or hot straight females. These crowds are much better than the lite beer pounding frat boys who stereotypically ruin shows. In the end, Peaches was explosive, the birds were looking great and it was another great night in Hollywood.