Today is an exciting day for Concert Confessions:  Today is our third anniversary of providing you, our dedicated readers, with the best fan-driven concert news and reviews on the internet.

For three years now, we – Reverend Justito, along with all of the writers and contributors of Concert Confessions – have worked tirelessly to bring you the most rich, detailed live music reviews possible of the bands and music we love.  After all, this is a website by the fans and for the fans.  For most of us, this website is about more than just earning our six figure salaries and exorbitant benefits packages – it’s about taking our passion and channeling it into something that can benefit other lovers of live music.

Behind the scenes of this well oiled machine, however, there have been some internal disagreements amongst senior staff about exactly how a review should be written.  Many of us believe that we do more than review concerts – it is our job to share not just the details of the concert and the music, but the entire experience of the event.  Others do not share in this philosophy.  To them, the reviews should be more focused, and should cut the fat in favor of a leaner and more relevant writeup.

Personally, I tend to be more story teller than concert reviewer, and so my posts often share the full details of the shows I attend:  How much of a fan I am (or am not) of the band, where I stopped for dinner, what time I arrived at the venue, if it was crowded or if the seats were empty, how the crowd behaved, and (if you’re really lucky) how many trips I had to make to the shitter.

…sorry, got a little carried away there.  I digress.

After months and months of discussing, debating, and sexually assaulting each other, we have finally come to a consensus on how the the ideal concert review should be written.  We will be implementing this new standard immediately.  At last, regardless of which Concert Confessions staff member’s reviews you are reading, you can rest assured that your reading experience will finally be both consistent and enjoyable.

Starting today, we are pleased to announce one word concert reviews.

Revolutionary.  Concise.  Meaningful.  Unambiguous.  Palpable.  Not only do these words describe how we feel about our new review method, they could each very well BE a review.

“But wait!”, you say.  “Won’t one word concert reviews remove all of the author’s personality from their contributions?”

Don’t be ridiculous.  Just because we’re conforming to the new standard doesn’t mean that our writing will suddenly lose its emotion and character.  You can continue to count on all of our authors to express their same writing style, just in a more condensed package.  For example, you can expect Reverend Justito to contribute reviews such as “Epic“, “Rocking“, and “Destroyed“.  Steven Anthony will express his feelings of practically everything with variants of “Terrible“,LOL” and “RAGE“.  Jakob Ross’s reviews will primarily be words frequently found on the website memebase.com.  I will be using a superfluous number of hyphens to mash 2,000 word reviews into one-giant-word.  We all suspect that TheNaturalStoner’s reviews will all be “BALLS“.  And finally, I’m not quite sure what to say about Jenn Kneeland as she has spent an awful lot of time mastering the art of the zero word concert review.

That’s what’s new with us!  We’re really excited about it, and we think you will be too.  This is the next logical step in bringing you the best of the best fan-oriented concert news and reviews.

Err… I guess I’m not doing this right.  Let me try again.

HORSEBALLS.

 

A student of the \\\"Use many words but say very little\\\" school of writing, jenkins is a classic rock junkie at heart who also digs pop/rock, folk, and some jam bands. He is into guitar gods, unplugged performances, and viewers like you.
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Sunday, April 1st, 2012 at 9:14 am.
Categories: Reviews.

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