On behalf of your West Coast fans, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my rotten heart for once again dicking us over. I get it, you have families, you want the easy paycheck, but for the love of God would it kill you to give the West Coast a little love? If my count is right, at the end of this fall tour, Phish Version 3.0 will have played 125 shows. Of those 125 shows, only 9 were held within the Pacific Time Zone. Of those 9 shows, 5 were in locations that were at least 2+ hours from a major airport, 3 (and the only known shows in the PST in 2010) were in a venue that holds under 10,000 people leaving many West Coast fans shut out (but hey, at least all those trust fund phans from back east were able to come out and enjoy the left coast) and then we had 1 show mid-week last summer leaving us non Bay Area fans who work for a living out in the cold.
Even if you throw Colorado into the mix, that brings the total to 18 shows. Keep in mind that of the 9 shows Colorado has gotten, not a single one has been held within a venue that can hold over 10,000 phans.
If my arguments for a lack of shows is not strong enough (I can already hear the east coast trust fund kids crying/mocking this post) let’s talk about set lists. Three nights at The Greek and our big bust out is The Lizards? Don’t get me wrong, it was much better than my 9th Limb by Limb in 20 shows, but let’s look at your undersold North Carolina shows from this summer? Two shows, big venues and plenty of extras to be had, you not only give those fans the first Fuck Your Face in over two decades; it comes moments after The Lizards. I know, lets reward that region with two shows in South Carolina this fall, but skip Portland, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Vancouver, Seattle, Sacramento, San Diego and Phoenix. Same thing for Alpine Valley – plenty of extra tickets and boom you bust out some serious guns. Hell, most of your East Coast summer run was undersold, so hey why not award that region with more shows. Fans begged for Prep School Hippie at the Greek, we wanted our bust out, our special moment and you failed us yet again. But hey, at least you spared us Time Turns Elastic.
Let your east coast snobs run to the potty when you close set 1 of your 6th New York State show this year with that giant turd of a song.
Of the 9 shows in the Pacific Time Zone, I will thank you for last years Festival 8. I doubt many bands could draw 40,000+ fans a day to the Empire Polo Fields, and everyone from mainstream press to this angry phan sang the praises of your three day 90+ song Halloween spectacular. But what have you done with that positive reception and energy coming out of Festival 8? You left it out in the desert to die a slow death. You have left all your West Coast fans to suffer, and I have to ask why? I would suggest perhaps you hate our crowded freeways, but judging by your cute lil viral video (which features a ton of our freeways despite no tour dates here) that’s not the case. Is it jet lag? Is Trey afraid of falling off the wagon after rocking a sold out Hollywood Bowl (you know, the venue you were supposed to play in Fall 2004, only to dick us out of those memories by breaking up)? So what gives Phish, where is the west coast love?