With a combination of being an avid fan of comedy, and seats; how could the 57th installment of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series land us anywhere but the Beacon Theater tonight to witness Weird Al Yankovic on the Apocalypse tour? How can you pass up a night of parodied hits? Wouldn’t be able to live with myself starring at that Amish Paradise CD that sits on my shelf.. Doors are at 6pm and the show is at 7pm. I was sent an email from “Madison Square Garden Events” (MSG owns the Beacon) with the ‘show info’. Whenever I look up set times online they’re never right- but since they specifically sent me this email alerting me that there’s no opening act and the show starts at 7, I’ll try my hand at slipping out of work early(if not for any reason but to hang Meat Puppets “Lollipop” posters up in Manhattan and on the ferry before I get in… This should be fun times- I never been to the Beacon before- let’s pop this venues cherry…

So walking in at 6, I was greeted at least three times on my way in. “Hello sir, Welcome to the Beacon”. Usually it’s like ‘sir let’s pat you down then talk’- I didn’t even get searched, and I got this big roll of scotch tape hanging out of my pocket. Anyway, so I stood by the door to my seat (Loge seating), and even tho I’m inside- the “house ” doors don’t open til 6:30..

This place is vintage, much like”Town Hall” except bigger ..Got my eye on that Jack Daniels behind the bar before I head ‘in’.
7:03 I’m making some observations here: No. 1 This place is half empty I really hope it fills out. And No.2 it’s 7: 03 and the lights aren’t even flickering on and off indicating that the show is started. If we’re going on after 7, don’t send me an email that says to be in my seat by 7 is all I’m saying. But gazing around,
I have to say this place is second to only Radio City Music Hall in classiness-I’m usually at dives like the Mercury Lounge or Gramercy.. I feel under dressed here (besides the kid outside with his parent wearing the “That’s what she said” shirt on.

I got the shoulder tap during “Polka Face”, the first song of the night. You have got to be freaking kidding me. I’ve seen video on YouTube from every Weird Al show, last I checked that was a choice made by the performer; and I didn’t see any signs.

The evening went on.. With the various costume changes, I knew that the big video screen up there would be put to good use. With every wardrobe change brought us another humorous video, whether it was an old snippet from MTV with Weird Al “interviewing” the likes of Eminem, Jessica Simpson, Keith Richards, Celine Dion, etc. Or clips from old TV shows and movies where he’s referenced or appeared (which was way more than I expected). Also a mock trailer for a bio pic titled “Weird”, in which I saw “Funny Or Die” in the credits-this guy gets around.

What’s not comedy is the “Loge” section (under the balcony but a level up from the floor) being half empty. Not the first time my fellow New Yorkers have disappointed me.

Later on, a suited up Weird Al is rocking out to “Party in the CIA”, then “CNR”, a parody ‘in the style’ of the White Stripes, not a song specifically. It’s hilarious, and about Match Game resident panelist Charles Nelson Reilly. I honestly found myself laughing out loud a number of times tonight.. “Canadian Idiot”? Now that’s comedy. I seriously would’ve tweeted out an “LOL” like a 5 year old if my phone wasn’t dying by that time..

At some points the videos would set up the songs, like from the Simpsons when Homer (portrayed as a Kurt Cobian-like character in this specific episode) says “he who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life”. That’s when I took another stab at recording, with “Smells like Nirvana”. It was early at this point, figured I had a few more warning taps before this staffer starting getting serious. So I was able to get it. I mean what’s this guy gonna do, throw me out?

I’m not a fan of mashing a bunch of songs into one, which is the only “on stage” occurrence tonight I was disappointed with. We went from an ‘Eye of the Tiger’ parody called “Theme From Rocky XIII{Rye or the Kaiser}parody right into “Spam”(REM-Stand) into “My Bologna”(The Knack-My Sharona) into”Spiderman”(Elton John-Piano Man) into “Lasagna”-probably missing one or two there that I didn’t catch, but each of those songs lasted no more than a verse and a chorus.

Then another run backstage and some new gear-this time a tight red leather jacket for “Eat It”(Micheal Jackson-Beat It) then the lights go down again and some more video is shown, leading us into the title track from the only Weird Al Yankovic record I have- Amish Paradise(Coolio-Gangsters Paradise, coincidentally I also have the Coolio album that song is on). With the music video in the background, and the crowd going wild- I had to make another attempt at recording..

Then after another round of the lights going down, the band came out to perform “Craigslist” (Doors Parody).. I gotta say Weird Al was in”channel” mode up there doing his Jim Morrison , with the jerky movements and looking like he’s sobbing into the microphone. Then Al runs off stage and comes back out in a peacock outfit(with long wings and everything) as they played “Perform this Way”(Lady Gaga-Born This Way).. A song later he introduced the band, who jammed out for like 2 mins after Al introduced them.. Said goodnight- it was about 9..

Lights are off, crowd is chanting “We want more! We want more!”.. I’ve seen chants for encores before but I think this is the first time everyone in a venue agreed to a common phrase..usually it’s just walls of noise til they come out. Encore? Weird Al? I’m not too sure about that one..

And I wasn’t- because they did come out for a few more. Here comes the Segway! We’re getting “White N’ Nerdy” up in here, and it’s awesome( if I said I tried to tape it and got tapped on the shoulder again by that same guy would I be getting repetitive? Buddy, what don’t you get? You should Google search “Social Media” you waste of life.. I don’t get why these guys just can’t look the other way-people are trying to run (and contribute to) websites here!). Then he changed into a fat suit for “Fat”(Micheal Jackson-Bad) before it became Star Wars time, ending the night with “Yoda” at 9:18..

I left this show a little more fulfilled then I thought I would. But I needed answers, on my way out the door, so I found the staff guy who kept tapping me telling me to stop taking video. I wasn’t an asshole about it(like I would normally be), I just said “hey man I didn’t see any signs and I Weird Al was posing for the cameras up front so what’s the deal? Is it a venue policy or something like that-I know you don’t make the rules I’m not trying to harp on you or anything”. His reply was simple as we walked, “No not at all its not a policy, but you know it’s kinda tacky sitting there taking video” and just as my head is about to explode I realize he’s not walking WITH me he’s walking me to the door, and before I could reply he nudged me out the door and headed back inside.

Sorry but can I rant in caps for a second? WHAT?!?!? It’s NOT a venue policy and it’s OKAYED by the artist but I was tapped on the shoulder based on the PERSONAL OPINIONS of an employee of the Beacon Theater? YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TACKY???? IF I WASN’T SO AFRAID OF POLICE AND GETTING ARRESTED, YOUR TEETH WOULD’VE BEEN DROPPING TO THE FLOOR LIKE TIC-TACKEYS. You schmuck. Look, I understand this concert video recording stuff is borderline and everything, with the changing media times.. but if your boss gave you no instructions to stop people from recording-then why don’t you just let me do my job here. I’m running out of words, the video saves me endless paragraphs…

Anyway, I usually don’t rant at the end, my bad. But besides that moron who worked there, the rest of the night was far better times then I’ve had in a while. Weird Al Yankovic has combined two of my three favorite things: Music and Comedy. And obviously by the decades of putting out albums, I’m not the only one who thinks he’s awesomeness in a can.

Hey do any of you have Halloween plans? How bout you come out to Hammerstein Ballroom to see the epicness that is Ween with Jay Porks? Oh wait, it’s sold out. Shucks. Well, you can ride shotgun with me reading that review hours after the show. An Evening With Ween.. get the humus ready.

Jay Porks here.. I like to go to shows and pass along the experiences to you in words, photos and videos. In my spare time I do Social Media for the Meat Puppets in addition to hosting a weekly podcast. Remember folks it\'s not all about the technicalities of the situation more than it is about what the situation brings to the technicalities... The Jay Porks Experience, take a stroll my shoes for a little while...
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